My Mom passed away on Tuesday, April 27. She was 70 years old, and a wonderful mother. Her memorial service and reception was held today, these were the words that I shared.
My Mom.
My Mom did everything she could ever do for my sister and I.
Over the last week or so of My Mom's life, I found myself driving to and from Pocopson often, well very often. I have ridden and enjoyed most of those roads by bicycle more often than I've driven them in recent years. However driving out to Route 52 through the valley and Adams Dam Rd, reminded me of the all the times My Mom picked me up from school early in 1st, 1st the second time, 2nd and into 3rd grade and drove those same roads out to the Centerville school for speech therapy.. so I could get my r's and w's down straight amongst other things. It was something I hated, getting out of school early only to go to more lessons of a sort... But know I stand here and can differentiate my "rrrrr's" and my "wwww's" so I guess Mom knew what she was doing! I hated that drive back then, and I hated making the drive over the past couple of weeks.
Who's idea were the tap dance classes and recitals all those years ago? Not mine, I think I can say that! But My Mom pushed me to do them so I could gain better coordination... As for wearing the cowboy costume in all those pictures, I can only assume she encouraged me to wear for her own enjoyment 
.
My Mom was always there when I called her.... When I was little it was usually to help me dig through a giant pile of legos to find the specific piece I was after. Later it was doing her best to understand whatever math homework I was doing so she could help me, even when she probably didn't get it herself.
When I got an Nintendo Gameboy for Christmas one year, My Mom and I fought for playing time. She quickly became a gameboy addict, sitting at the kitchen table playing tetris or alleyway until her thumbs hurt, all while she cooked dinner... those were some of the best dried out burnt pork chops we ever had. Several years later after the screen died in the first gameboy we gave My Mom a new one for Christmas.
My Mom steadfastly plowed through the financial aid forms year after year, and she probably started working at the bank partly so that I could go to private school for those 9 years. She knew I would be most successful in smaller classes, in smaller schools.
At first we were My Mom's assistants, helping with cooking, pulling up nails and staples from the floors in the new house or being her painting projects. Over time though she became my default assistant whether it was hanging drywall, putting in the ceiling in the basement, raising the roof on the shed, or just being an extra hand on whatever project I was working on, she was always there.
My sophomore year in college is when things changed a little, and it was when I had to really be there for My Mom. Katie and I were both called home to be with her for our Dad's bypass surgery. Being at school in Virginia vs Colorado, meant I got there a good 10 hours or so before Katie. It was that morning that my parents told me about my mom's seizure and the mri that showed something in her brain. Since my dad was going to be in surgery, they asked me to accompany my Mom to see the neurosurgeon. What followed that morning, and the subsequent surgery was an incredible tale of survivorship.
My Mom was still there for us. She came down to Blacksburg to visit me when I was down, or flew out to Colorado to drive home with Katie. Never complaining about herself or her condition. Over the years as her conditions changed and things slowed down, she was still there with ears to listen and shoulders to cry on.
My Mom was there the day I got the engagement ring for Mollie. I remember showing it to her, and asking her to keep it a secret. I know Katie and I both shared a lot of things with her, secrets or other things we knew we could trust with her.
In the recent months while Mom was at Sunrise, I always got a kick out of driving up to visit her, only to have my phone ring while I was on my way and it be her. It went something like... "Hey Mom".... "Byron"... "yea... guess what? "What?", "I'm on my way up to see you, I'll be there in 10 minutes"... The simplest of conversations, and it happened at least once a week. I think Mollie can attest that i always smiled when I saw my Mom pop up on caller id.
A month or so ago I rode my bike up to Sunrise to see my Mom. I thought it would be fun to stop by there after a hilly 17 miles or so, similarly to when I would stop by occasionally at the start or end of a ride at the house on Longwood. I called my mom that morning and told her I was coming and when I thought I'd be there. As I arrived and rode around to the entrance, there there she was sitting outside in the sun waiting with a big smile on her face. I asked her when she knew it was me, and she said not until I got close to her, I laughed and asked who else she was expecting to see ride up on a bicycle decked out in bike gear. I didn't stay long that day, she helped me refill my water bottles for the ride home and saw me off. I was hoping to do it again but didn't make it back to Sunrise on the bike. Knowing My Mom would be moved to Pocopson at some point this spring or summer I was looking at maps, trying to figure out a safe route there, thinking about making a weekly weekend ride to see my mom through the summer.
I felt closer in many ways to my Mom in the recent months, having longer conversations and sharing deep thoughts and ideas. There were also the days she visited our house for lunch and a video chat with Katie and the kids or the sleepy afternoon watching the movie Julia and Julia with Mollie and I... though I think My Mom slept through most if it!
My Mom fought back from surgeries, a stroke and coma. To be a part of her motivation, to be a witness to her strength and positiveness.. I am awed, blessed, and thankful. I love you and will miss you Mom.
There is too much going on now. I'm in SF for phase 4 of 4... almost done, home soon, and then back for another day or so.
in the mean time I get a text message saying my mother is going into a nursing home.. what a way to find out! the communication is distant, defensive and nearly non-existent. I am lucky to have a wife who has taken the time to visit with my mom. Things seem okay for now, but the process by which they got there seems distorted. What is the motivation? What comes in the future?
No posts for way to long, going on a year.. yikes... Will update soon, getting some thoughts together... too much Facebook and Twitter time I guess.
Okay, so I guess I'm a little caught up in the whole facebook thing, and never really update my blog at tube013.org much any more... I should do better. So we are into 2009, I'm (still) in San Francisco, January is month 5 away from home! (been home for a total of about 4 weeks since labor day). Being away is rough both on me and at home on Mollie. I'm hopeful this project will be over by mid-April, but we will see. I'm headed home next weekend since Monday is dark in court for Martin Luther King Jr. Day.
Wilson is back to his normal self, his leg is all back into the right number of pieces (2 solid bones), of course integrating him into our house is fraught with issues as he terrorizes Willie and Sasha when he has the chance, and poor Willie is mister timid, and goes into fearful cat mode when Wilson gets going. So for now, as time works it's magic, Wilson lives in our laundry room for much of the day, and gets a few hours of freedom in the house each day which usually results in Willie and Sasha retreating to the top of the kitchen cabinets. Though as of the beginning of the year as I wrapped up my holidays at home, Wilson had figured out how to get up on top of the fridge to see whats going on up there, thus confronting them, and inflicting more trauma on Willie.
The Holidays were good, just for the fact that I was home with Mollie and sleeping in my own bed. Unfortunately I spent about half the time sick. Christmas morning was spent at my parent's house with them, Katie, Conor and Bridget. Then Mollie and I hit the road to make it to Christmas Dinner with her family in Lynchburg. At 2am on the 26th I awoke with nausea, and was sick enough that by 6am it was clear I was not going to get through it without some help, so Mollie took me to the Lynchburg Hospital ER, where I got 6 hours of IV fluids, and lots of anti-nausea drugs, with the heavy duty phenegran finally doing the trick, and also pretty much knocking me out for the next 24 hours or so. Within a few days of that I had my third full blown cold of Nov/Dec 2008... I guess my west coast anti-bodies weren't up to the task of fighting off the east coast bugs. Finally broke through and felt better on New Years day, and enjoyed my last few days at home.
Just taking each day one at a time. Now that trial is actually moving, each day is a day closer to being done, and going home.
Wilson's X-Rays today 9/25, showed that it is pretty much completely healed, just short of 4 months after being hit.. He goes in Monday to have the pins and fixation removed, and gets a splint for 4 months so the holes from the pins can heal, and that's it... all back to gether... 5 months later!
In other news I'm home for a week (finishing up the week) after 3 weeks in San Fran for work, I head back out there on Saturday, for a few more months! Mollie got a new job, more on all that sooner or later!
Sitting at the Delaware State Seashore Park. Nice day.
San Fran is back on, traveling on Sept. 2 this time. (subject to change).
Wilson is 2+ months out from surgery, and besides attacking Willie is doing well. His latest x-rays showed lots of bone regrowth and everything is on track. More x-rays on 9/24 and possibly removal of the fixator after that.
